College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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