like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Randomize
