i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
