Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
