um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize