you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
