I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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