then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize