So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
