oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
