I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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