Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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