Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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