Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize