I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So much rum. So many feels.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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