I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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