I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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