look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You were trust falling into bushes
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
