ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
