Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
