Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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