Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I understand Curling. That high.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
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