Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
