Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
