What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
