New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
