there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
