She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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