i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
