Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
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