yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Houston, we have a blender
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
