yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
