I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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