Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
