the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
