Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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