I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
