I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
