If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
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LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
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Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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