This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
