Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
