He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
