So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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