I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
