Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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