Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I have fence marks all over my body
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
