He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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