i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
