Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
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i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
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The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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