Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
