i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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