woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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