omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Randomize
