we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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