Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
