I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
