Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
