Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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