you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
