Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Help me help you realize you are a moron
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
