I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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