I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
