So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
We're too hungover to prance.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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